he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
