I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Randomize
