Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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