forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
