i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
