what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My feet surprised me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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