Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
