I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
