We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
