I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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