this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
