I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
