Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
