i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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