if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Randomize
