You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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