You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
