I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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