i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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