TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
