it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
