normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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