Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
