I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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