i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
