Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
