So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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