i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
