just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
