We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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