i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
