Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
