Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
