Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
