I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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