I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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