is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
