I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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