More tranny stories later!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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