I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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