I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
