Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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