i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
