Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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