Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
