i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
