Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
they need to just BURY HIM!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
