i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
