Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
