What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
